You could be right if you’ve ever doubted the feasibility of striking a healthy work-life balance. My honest opinion is that such a thing as a work-life balance does not even exist. There will always be work that spills over from your 9 to 5 into your personal life, whether you’re an entrepreneur or a rising star in the corporate world. And if you want to succeed at anything, you’ll have to give something up. Since achieving a “work-life balance” is an impossibility, I’ve developed a set of habits, resources, and coping strategies that allow me to succeed in the here and now. There are still times when I feel overwhelmed with work and a little bit out of balance, but with these daily rituals in place, I am able to feel grounded instead of losing my mind.
While maintaining focus and equilibrium during my busy workdays, I follow these five routines each day:
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Remind Yourself (often!) that You’re the One Who Chose This Route.
Keep in mind that you are the one who made the decision to go down the road you are currently on. One of the perks of being an entrepreneur, for instance, is the independence it affords. You chose to go your own way, and you chose the challenges that come with that decision.
Think about it: you could quit your job, close your business, and relocate to a farm in the middle of nowhere tomorrow if you wanted to. Ultimately, the decision is up to you. I ask myself, “Why am I doing this?” quite frequently. But right now, it’s been mine since I made that decision. By making that one mental adjustment, I may go from feeling helpless to empowered. This is a very liberating concept.
Organize your work using the ‘Rocks’ technique for determining what should be done first.
Having a long list of things to accomplish can be more stressful than it is productive.
Anyone with a position that requires them to make important decisions every day has an endless list of things to do. Literally. In spite of your best efforts, it can feel like you haven’t accomplished much even after a full day of work because there are always more things to do than there are hours in the day.
Instead, I employ “rocks,” a method I acquired from performance coach Bill Nelson.
Let’s pretend you have some sand and a glass container with various rocks of varying sizes. Small rocks should go in last because you won’t have enough room for everything else if you put them in first. But if you start with the largest rocks and work your way down to the smallest, you should be able to fit them all. In the end, the sand will settle in and take up any remaining void.
The idea behind this method is to select a small number of tasks—say let’s five—as the absolute musts for the upcoming week. Get them down on paper.
Then, even if you don’t finish anything else, having checked off those five items will make you feel better. Yes, you have progressed! Finding your “rocks” is a more effective technique to monitor your development and keep your attention where it needs to be. Making rocks is something you may do on a weekly or even daily basis. Sometimes, when I’m at my most frantic, I tell myself, “You know what? The key point is this: Just getting these three things done will make today a success, even if I don’t get anything else done.
The PEW12 Approach
Purge Emotional Writing (PEW12), a technique I learned from Dr. Habib Sadeghi, is one of my favorite daily practices.
The procedure is as follows:
Choose a subject, put the clock on for 12 minutes, and start writing. You could be trying to work through a specific problem by writing about it, or you could just be letting your emotions guide your writing. Because you will never read what you have written again, it doesn’t matter what you write or how neatly you write it.
Finally, you should burn the pages.
Your pent-up feelings will be diminished or burned away as the paper burns. Both the act of writing (which is, in essence, dumping all your extraneous baggage) and the act of burning the pages (which is symbolic of letting go of the past) is highly cathartic. PEW12 can be done once, twice, or more times per day, depending on how often you feel you need it.
This activity has helped me immensely because I have a tendency to obsess over a problem or negative contact with a person even when I know there is nothing, I can do to fix it. My stress disappears, though, as I finish my PEW12. Now, everything makes sense to me. And now my thoughts are no longer going around and around the same topic. When this happens, we can finally rest easy. Do it and see.
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Observe a Holy Hour (Like a 20-Minute Walk or Evening Bath)
You need to set aside some time for leisure and relaxation outside of work. This is what I mean by holy time.
For instance, I always end the day with a relaxing bath. This is my time to physically cleanse myself of the day’s events, as well as any negative emotions or vibes I’d rather not bring to bed with me from the individuals, interactions, or experiences I chose to avoid. For this very reason, I had one of my bathrooms renovated. Taking a bath with Himalayan salts, essential oils and a five-minute meditation is the pinnacle of “me time” and helps me unwind before night. Even if setting out quiet time to reflect on the day’s conclusion is essential, I find that I benefit just as much from doing so at the day’s beginning.
I utilize the twenty minutes I spend walking my dog Bernard in the morning to focus on my goals for the day. No, I never bring my cell phone with me. The never-ending list of things I need to accomplish doesn’t even enter my mind. Just taking in the fresh air and listening to the birds while Bernard pauses to say hello to the neighbors and their dogs. It’s the consistency with which you carry out these seemingly mundane tasks on a daily basis that ultimately yields the desired results.
Give Yourself Grace When You Ignorantly Disregard the Resources
There are times when our best efforts to engage in “everyday” rituals fall short. When this occurs, I do my best to not be too hard on myself. After all, I can use these items to boost my mood. What good would they do if they were merely another thing to do?
My regular habits are not things to be recorded in my jar of rocks, my daily planner, or my daily to-do list. For my benefit, they exist. I won’t feel as good if I can’t complete my practices due to unforeseen circumstances. Maybe I won’t get as much rest that night, or I’ll feel bad that I didn’t take Bernard for a walk. But that’s fine, too. Recognizing my limitations and letting go of the pressure to succeed in every area of my life is also beneficial.